The joy of having an impact, the challenge of social media and — of course — the not-always-subtle sexist remarks and actions.
Being a woman in politics brings a little bit of everything.
So said the four panelists at a recent Impact 100 Garden State event held at the Frelinghuysen Arboretum in Morris Township.
Four elected officials: Assemblywomen Aura Dunn and Marisa Sweeney (25th District), Bernardsville Mayor Mary Jane Canose and former Westfield Mayor Shelley Brindle offered their thoughts on public life in a wide-ranging discussion led by Lisa Marie Falbo of ON New Jersey.
Here are just a few of the most interesting takes:
Aura Dunn
A former U.S. Senate Appropriations Committee staffer, she is in her fourth term as an Assemblywoman.
On the non‑linear careers of women
“Life is often a circle, and for women our careers are not always a linear ladder because we sometimes step off that ladder to care for others and be caretakers in our families.”
On severe under‑representation of women
“As one of just a handful of Republican women in the Legislature, I see the numbers up close and women are only about 30% of the 120 members. I am one of three Republican women in the Assembly, with a total of just five Republican women in the entire New Jersey Legislature, so we represent about 4% and that is not reflective of our electorate.”
On the absence of HR in politics
“There is no human resources department in politics and there should be, because as an elected official, I am the chief executive officer and the chief human resources officer. When inappropriate things occur, there is really nowhere to go.”
On a “Kanye/Taylor” moment on the floor
“I literally had a hand put up in front of me and was told to stop while I was mid‑sentence. Then a man took the microphone away and I had to say, ‘Just to be clear, he is not the Assemblywoman, but I guess I will wait my turn.’”
On what she tells Girl Scouts and young women
“I tell girls and young women that:
- “If you are labeled aggressive, you should keep being assertive;
- “If you are called bossy, you should keep on leading;
- “If you are called difficult, you should keep telling the truth;
- “If people say you are too much, you should keep taking up space;
- “And if they say you are complicated, you should keep asking hard questions.”
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Marisa Sweeney
She is a doctor of clinical nutrition and the owner of Be Well Integrated Health Services. She was elected to office for the first time last November.
On the research gaps in women’s health
“As I often point out, as both a clinician and a policymaker, the NIH, the National Institute of Health released a report in 2013 that said only 9.7% of their budget was allocated to women’s health. PCOS, postpartum depression, endometriosis and menopause are all areas where we do not know nearly enough compared to other diagnoses that have decades of literature behind them.”
On what real, lasting change requires
“If you want a lasting, sustainable effect of change, there are two things that have to come together: You need your research‑ and evidence‑based plan and you have to get out there and do it — and make sure it actually gets done.”
On why she finally ran for office
“As someone who had been advocating on the outside, we started presenting the research‑ and evidence‑based plan to legislators and having it fall on deaf ears. I got so frustrated with not being part of the doing, that when I saw this Assembly opportunity, I said, ‘I think I might do this because I want to be part of the doing.’”
On the privilege and weight of serving statewide
“As a new Assemblywoman in the 25th District, it is an absolute privilege to be in this position where I have the ability to make change that is potentially going to affect millions of people in the state of New Jersey. I feel the weight of that responsibility, and I am going to take it very seriously.”
On fear and taking risks
“Fear is always going to be a passenger on the ride, but you have to let it be a passenger instead of taking the wheel. You have the wheel. Fear should just sit in the passenger seat with you.”
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Mary Jane Canose
She is the first female mayor of Bernardsville.
On what careers women were steered into when she was younger (she is 76)
“I am a baby boomer. When I was in high school, girls had five choices: A nurse, a teacher, a secretary, an airline stewardess or, if you were really considered sharp, a buyer at Macy’s.”
On deciding to run when dismissed by male leaders
“We went to the council and these very distinguished men basically said, ‘Do not worry your pretty little hands, we can run this town.’ So, I started a nonprofit called Citizens for a Better Bernardsville, we built a community‑built playground and then I realized that the only way I was going to make anything different was to run for office.”
On how women govern differently in meetings
“What I find with women on the council is that they tend to ask others what they think and bring people in, whereas the men often say, ‘This is how it should be,’ and repeat it because they want to win. I stop them, and say, ‘We know your opinion, now let me ask the other two people what their opinion is.’”
On social media and facing critics directly
“Our biggest impediment is social media, where people start trolling and spreading outright misinformation. When someone was trashing me about a road not getting paved properly, I walked up to their house and knocked on the door.”
On the real meaning of public service
“As long as you stay focused on why you are there. You need to understand that public service is hard work, but it is also heart work. And if you are doing it for the right reasons, it is absolutely worth doing.”
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Shelley Brindle
She is the former Mayor of Westfield and a former executive at HBO, where she was the first woman in the C-Suite.
On how she ended up running for mayor
“I never had the bug to run for office, but I did have a real problem I wanted to solve. And after I kept giving suggestions based on my private‑sector experience someone finally said to me, ‘Why do you not run for mayor?’”
On being unprepared for the “public figure” part
“The biggest challenge I was unprepared for was being a public figure. My family sometimes refused to go out with me. And I always felt like someone could snap a picture of me doing something even remotely questionable.”
On why she believes more women should lead in government
“My experience only reinforced why women should be leaning into all aspects of government. Women tend to be driven more by community while men are often driven by ego. I saw women who had no problem pushing back and standing up to certain people while many of the men did not.”
On Pride flags and rainbow crosswalks
“Westfield had never raised the Pride flag in its history. During COVID, we worked with the high school and middle school to have students come out at four in the morning and paint rainbow crosswalks in the heart of our downtown. It has become one of the most popular things we have ever done and created a cultural change that I believe will last beyond our time here.”
On knowing when to step down
“When my second term was ending, I went back and looked at why I ran in the first place and saw that I had checked all those boxes. So, I decided it was time to hand things over to a new generation of leaders, and I remembered my CFO at HBO telling me it is always better to leave a year too early than a year too late.”
